he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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