I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
