bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
