I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
