i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
