Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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