Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
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