I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize