ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night