if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
