Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
