hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
