Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
