guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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