piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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