tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize