Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
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I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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