BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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