I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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