You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
