I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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