what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There was a lot of him and a little penis
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
