capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize