Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
