Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
