Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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