you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
