im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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