On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
