i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
