what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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