Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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