Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
