I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
