Got a toothbrush?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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