you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
