highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
