Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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