Screwed.edu
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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