Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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