You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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