I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
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since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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