just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
