I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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