It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize