Swine flu. Run for my life!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
