I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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