You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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