i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
