Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
