so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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