after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
