well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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